Facebook Prego's: I'm offended and so is Everyone Else.

So anywho, I've been meaning to share my thoughts (outrage) on this subject for quite some time, but haven't really had a chance lately to write...

I know you've all seen them, the sonogram/ultrasound profile pictures, the lamaz (sp?) class status updates, tweets while in labor and any other sort of related cyber-pregnancy ridiculousness... All of the above 1. extremely gross me out, 2. turn me off to the person who is posting such awkwardness, and 3. most of all, just plain PISS ME OFF.

Perhaps you should know, first of all, that I am a certified, "goo goo, gaga", "anyone-under-the-age-of -7 makes me melt like butter on Paula Deans Stove" certifiable, self-professed, mushy gushy, BABY LOVER. I love children and think that they are the absolute light of the world, and possibly God's best gift to human kind. They crack me up and instill hope in me with their eternal optimism and eargerness to learn and I can't wait to have kids of my own-- I dare say, babysitting is better than therapy....

So, why, you may ask, is all of the cyber-pregnancy posting pissing me off so much?

Here's why.... Facebook is a SOCIAL NETWORK. Not a MEDICAL NETWORK. The only people who need to see your ultrasound pics are your doctor, your baby's daddy and your parents/in-laws/siblings. Your Growing belly (which i might add is equally as offensive as the "baby-in-womb" pics, mainly because pregnant belly buttons are super-gross and they are ULTRA gross when they have stretched out belly button ring holes in them. Did you just vom? I did.) Like I was saying, your baby bump is for you to cherish and feel good about and check out in the mirror after you buy some faboosh maternity clothes, not for all 1000 of your closest aquaintainces to have to look at every fucking week. I mean, seriosusly, it doesn't even look that different until your like 7 mos.

But, the single most offensive cyber pregnancy post is by FAR -wait for it.- The freshly peed on, still says positive, (or if you bought that shit from the dollar tree, still shows pink arrows) PREGNANCY TEST!!!!! God damn people, I do not, under any circumstances, ever. ever ever. want to look at something that you've peed on. That is disgusting and vomitous, not to mention, unsanitary.

So after careful reflection on my thoughts and opinions of the cyber preggers "phenomenon", I decided to canvas my friends and family to see if they felt the same as I do.... I took into heavy consideration, the fact that I am single, husbandless and childless and may or may not have empty aching womb syndrome. lol. I thought that, since I don't know the joys of married life, pregnancy or motherhood, it very well could just be me who was disgusted by all of this. I asked everyone from mothers, to engaged people, to people who were in serious relationships, and even men... I felt that I needed the broad perspective, if I was going to go and criticize something as sacred and wonderful as pregnancy.

Turns out, I was right. People with happy and fulfilled lives that include children and boyfriends and husbands feel the exact same way that I do. Nauseous.

So if you fall under the "offensive facebook prego" category, I beg of you, please don't post any more pictures of your huge bump wrapped up in a ribbon with no shirt on. Please no bikinis after 4 mos. Please Please Please, no pictures of objects that you have peed on. Once the baby pops out and is cleaned off, feel free to post as many pictures as humanly possible. I will tell you how adorable your kid is and how blessed you are and sincerely mean it from the bottom of my heart but until then, just stop. The US only manufactures so much Pepto-Bismol.